COMPLETE SUPER BOWL RANKINGS (updated through M22)

1) Super Bowl 25 – Dan (Jaguars) defeats Ocho (Bucs) in 2OT

As quiet as it’s kept, the first half of this game was some SLOPPY football by both sides. Ocho played just about the worst half on offense that I can remember from a Super Bowl user, and though Dan was able to do enough to secure a 3-point lead at halftime I remember thinking that if Dan was his usual self on offense he’d have been up by 17+. But oh my lord, what a second half and OT. Devonte Davidson saved the league from the ignominy of seeing Ocho’s name in the hall of champions with perhaps the greatest display of heart in BL history, and Dan clutched the fuck up to win the ‘ship. Big time users make big time plays, and Ocho was anything but.

2) Super Bowl 30 – Austin (Patriots) defeats (CMass)

For my money this was the highest-quality and most thrilling Super Bowl I can remember catching live (I didn’t see !ochoke until after the fact), and man oh man was that a tough way for Cmass to go out. You could see on their faces how locked-in both users were, and all it took was one slipup at the end to swing the game in Austin’s favor. I can still remember calling the game and having my heart sink to my stomach when Tua dropped back on that 3rd and 7. The Madden gods spoke to me in that moment and told me the play would end badly before he even threw the ball. Unfortunately TikTok hadn’t yet given Cmass a gamebreaking play to go to, so the INT was preordained.

3) Super Bowl 21 – Alex (Chargers) defeats Ocho (Bucs) in OT

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO if !ochoke happened to me none of you would ever hear from me again. I’d delete Slack, sell my Xbox, and move to Siberia to live among the wolves. If that play happened to anyone else it would be known as some grade-A fuckery and an unfortunate way for a Super Bowl to be decided. But since it was Ocho… LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

4) Super Bowl 6 – ShawnG (Cowboys) defeats Phil (Bills) in OT

Yeah man, sometimes you gotta not outthink yourself and just feed your best player with the game on the line. Who knows how much of Shawn’s OT strategy came down to nerves, but I respect the hell out of him for just pounding the rock and going with his greatest strength in clutch time. No one ever brings it up, but Phil kicking a FG on 4th and 1 with 2 min left to go up 5 was one of those decisions that allowed Shawn to hang around when you coulda gone for the kill. Justifiable given how well his defense was playing, but with the benefit of hindsight… I know some other great champions like Austin and Dan try to end the game there. Phil played it safe.

5) Super Bowl 27 – Cody (Bengals) defeats Dan (Saints)

Just a quality game on both sides and a great way to kick off M21. This was pre-ability Burrow cooking up some succulent dots for the people, but the straw that stirred the drink for Cody’s offense was Joe Mixon’s 176 and 3 TD’s on the ground. Nothing super explosive, but it felt like every time Cody needed a third and short conversion or an easy 5-7 yards Mixon was able to provide. Of course, the play of the game was a CRUSHING hit stick by Vonn Bell to undo a 4th-down conversion and seal the game for Cincinnati. Bernard from the Bayou musta been siiiiiiick

6) Super Bowl 16 – Duhooty (Cardinals) defeats Phil (Ravens)

A great great game that has been completely lost to the M19 gates of hell. Competitive all throughout and highly entertaining due to the two clashing playstyles, Hooty was able to win his first of two consecutive rings through his elite option offense that transcends cycles in how fun it is to watch. To me, this is the best Super Bowl by far that absolutely no one remembers other than the two participants.

7) Super Bowl 35 – Steel (Steelers) defeats Little Alex (WFT)

As far as pure user quality over the course of the game goes, you’ll have a hard time finding any Super Bowl in league history that stacks up to this one. Little Alex was 19-0 heading into this one and coming off of a dominant win over Cody’s Rams in the NFCCG, but Steel played what I’d imagine he’d say is one of the best front-to-back Madden games of his life and matched Alex blow for blow. The difference ended up being a vicious hit stick forcing an Antonio Gibson fumble in the 4th quarter that got recovered by Gator cleat yeeter Marco Wilson (how did I miss that in the booth?!?). An incredibly-played game that came down to one or two mistakes out of Alex in the end.

8) Super Bowl 38 – Cody (Rams) defeats Phil (Broncos)

This game defied expectations and inspired users around the league, as Phil was able to stay in a game that almost no one gave him a shot of winning, ultimately giving up a 2-point conversion after a 5-minute Dan pause to lose to a 20-0 Rams team. I expected a blowout, you expected a blowout, but a couple uncharacteristic Cody mistakes combined with a Phil offense that did juuuuuust enough to stay in the game led to a close one wire-to-wire. Javonte Williams tried his hardest, but the rest of the team let him down.

9) Super Bowl 24 – Ben (Falcons) defeats Dan (Jaguars)

Unfortunately the commentary is marred a bit by my misguided attempt to call play-by-play on Cody’s stream (thank god for BLN) but what an electric game and performance outta Ben. Sometimes entire football games can come down to one or two plays, and I really think that the Beckham fumble and Dan’s failed 4th-down attempt singlehandedly swung the game in Ben’s favor. Cam Newton was not to be denied.

10) Super Bowl 13 – Morty (Patriots) defeats Justin (Saints)

A strange yet highly entertaining game. Justin kept stringing long sustained drives together but settled for field goals way too often, and Morty had a pretty awful game by his M18 standards but stayed in it with the benefit of occasional chunk plays. One of those games where if you looked at just the stats with no scoreline you would’ve assumed Justin won, but football is a strange sport sometimes. No better proof for that than Justin still having yet to win a ring despite John Madden himself descending from the heavens and holding his hand through the game half the damn time.

11) Super Bowl 36 – Hero Austin (Browns) defeats Little Alex (WFT)

I actually think this game was quite a bit worse than their matchup two seasons prior as a whole, but anytime the game comes down to the final play you’ll get a bump up in my rankings by default. Alex faced a 17-0 deficit at halftime with only 53 passing yards out of human cheat code Lamar Jackson, but managed to lock down defensively in the second half and give himself a chance to win on the final play. Unfortunately, as was the case all throughout the cycle, redzone offense eluded him when he needed it most, he missed the wheel, and Hero managed to win his 2nd super bowl in 3 seasons, continuing to shock the world and prove the detractors and doubters wrong.

12) Super Bowl 34 – Hero Austin (Browns) defeats Little Alex (WFT)

Lotta buzz heading into this one! Two first-time Super Bowl appearances meant that we were guaranteed a new Better League Champion for the first time in five seasons, and this game delivered on all the hype. Ultimately I think Hero was able to find his identity on both sides of the ball quicker than anyone else this cycle, and his west coast offensive attack allowed him to weather any storm that came his way and grind the clock down, forcing his opponents into frustration and panic. Say what you will about the Browns roster but there’s no doubt in my mind that Hero was the best user in those playoffs.

13) Super Bowl 7 – Morty (Patriots) defeats Cloud (Vikings)

The people need Cloud facecams back! I think this is proof positive that Morty’s a big-game player, as he went up against the undefeated Vikings and responded with one of the great passing performances in BL Super Bowl history. In an Madden devoid of abilities Tom Brady was as effective of a Madden QB as there was that cycle, and Morty capitalized on his elite accuracy with succulent dot after succulent dot. Lowkey one of the bigger upsets in BL Super Bowl history.

14) Super Bowl 33 – Dan (Saints) defeats Austin (Patriots)

Just an immaculate way for Norman Fletcher to end his career after a cycle’s worth of mockery by Bernard from the Bayou and the Humble Host. While his path was certainly aided by Omaha, Dan’s ability to lock in for the entire game and get Fletcher to a 90% completion rate despite his opponent knowing how he likes to play is incredibly impressive. Some users bitched and moaned whenever they had to play Austin in, for example, conference championship games (not calling anyone specific out or anything) but Dan did what he does best and won on the biggest stage.

15) Super Bowl 18 – Samoan (Rams) defeats Morty (Patriots)

Even among the low low standards of M19 Better League, this was a DEAD league heading into season 18. Evan made the fucking AFCCG!!! Despite that this was a fun game, as Samoan etched his name in the history books with a fun one-possession game against Morty that no more than 5 people watched live.

16) Super Bowl 29 – Connor (Browns) defeats Ben (49ers)

THE GREATEST GAME IN BETTER LEAGUE HISTORY IDC IDC
Just a wild day for me. I thought I would be a bucket of nerves heading into this one, but I felt weirdly very calm and confident pregame and never really got hit by the Super Bowl jitters I was expecting. I just kept telling myself that if I played the way I did against Austin in the AFCCG I would win, so there was nothing to be nervous about. Might’ve also been in a food coma with all that Shake Shack I had for lunch, idk. Got off to an explosive start and a quick 24-point lead, offense stagnated after that, but that’s why you pay the 97-speed defensive demons to fly around the field. My most memorable moment from postgame was when Cmass asked Ben how it felt to have the whole league against him during the game, which remains the most disrespectful question I can remember on BLN.

17) Super Bowl 5 – Cloud (Cardinals) defeats Morty (Patriots)

Cloud was just such a machine by the end of M17 man. The only man capable of posing a consistent threat to him at that point was Shawn, and once Chase knocked him out in the wild card round Cloud’s run to the Lombardi was practically preordained. This one was competitive (if a bit sloppy) all the way through, but Mariota was too mistake-prone and Cloud was able to ride a balanced offensive attack all the way to his first ring. Look out for those Titans in the playoffs this year! No one’s talking about Cloud but he’s been as impressive as anyone in the AFC.

18) Super Bowl 39 – Austin (Patriots) defeats Dan (Vikings)

If crackhead energy was a Super Bowl. Some blindass, trashass, garbageass decision-making by both users in the first half led to one of the most thrilling second halves we’ve ever seen, as both users effectively scored at will, with the difference in the game coming down to a horrible Mond INT where Tremaine Edmunds ran the route for Burns. Speaking of Burns, he had the most impressive losing effort we’ve ever seen in a Better League Bowl with 10 REC, 287 yds and 3 TD. A ringless Hall of Famer.

19) Super Bowl 28 – Austin (Patriots) defeats Ben (49ers)

I have no real strong takes about this game, I just want you all to go to the 11-minute mark of this highlight video and tell me what in the fuck Ben was expecting with that 4th-down playcall. A motion swing pass thrown late while Coleman was practically on the sideline and a possession catch 3 yards away from the line of gain. Like… what’s the thought process there? He did the exact same playcall against me in the following Super Bowl and suffered the same result. Ben if you read this plz explain.

20) Super Bowl 20 – Alex (Chargers) defeats Justin (Packers)

The origination of !justinclutchgene, this was a fun if sloppy game where Justin had a very real chance of winning the whole way through before Rodgers fumbled the bag at the very end. I can only imagine the bridge energy Alex would’ve been on if he had not only lost a Super Bowl to Justin, but given the Packers their only Super Bowl victory in Better League lore. Fortunately, Austin Dan and Cody weren’t in the league at this point so Alex was able to make a Super Bowl run and keep Justin out of the hall.

21) Super Bowl 14 – Austin (Chargers) defeats Chase (Cowboys)

Although you can’t say he’s the best user to have never won a ring anymore, Chase was a consistent contender through the first three cycles and change, and this represented his best chance by far to join the hall. A competitive game start to finish, Chase gave Austin hell for a while with his god-tier defensive user, but just didn’t have quite enough tricks up his sleeve on offense and Austin was able to figure his scheme out over the course of the game. Has the window shut for Chase? Only time will tell.

22) Super Bowl 17 – Duhooty (Cardinals) defeats Eqmazing (Colts)

Zero memory of this one. ZERO. I didn’t even know who the Colts user was until Dan reached deep into his historian bag and pulled Eqmazing’s name out. Sorry Hooty!

23) Super Bowl 3 – Alex (Bears) defeats Kook (Colts)

M17 Kook was a demon, and this game was closer for much longer than the final score would indicate. It really was a defensive battle in the first half, with a couple long chunk plays sprinkled among 3-and-outs, but a 66-yard Zach Miller TD heading into halftime gave Alex a 21-14 lead that he would never relinquish. The game was up for grabs until early in the 4th quarter when the Colts offense blinked with a couple turnovers and Alex was able to clinch his first Lombardi.

24) Super Bowl 12 – Phil (Broncos) defeats Alex (Bears)

What won this game for Phil ultimately was a combination of his god squad secondary and a very locked in defensive user performance making Trubisky’s life a living hell. It became very clear early on in the game that Phil had a bead on what Alex’s preferred route combos were, and though Alex was able to piecemeal a couple drives together it ultimately wasn’t enough. This is the first time I can remember being really surprised by a Super Bowl result. Alex had just ran through myself, Chase and Cody with ease and seemed to be the decisive favorite heading into the game. Alas, Phil was Alex’s father on this day and remains his father until proven otherwise.

25) Super Bowl 4 – Morty (Patriots) defeats NascarNerd (Saints)

Literally my only memory of NascarNerd is that he told me he liked my podcasts once, so I have no choice but to rank him among the all-time great men to grace this league. This is one of those old games where I wish a highlight video existed, cause this was a back-and-forth battle all the way through. SB4 started a stretch of thrilling Super Bowls that I would say didn’t end until SB9 when Phil handled Beard comfortably. Very few snoozefests in BL Super Bowl history!

26) Super Bowl 11 – Austin (Eagles) defeats Ocho (Raiders)

Austin’s second Super Bowl ring came in impressive fashion, able to consistently drive and score against an Ocho Raiders team that had clamped the fuck up all throughout the regular season and playoffs. As much as I hate to give !ochoke any sort of credit the fact is that Raiders team was a machine, earning the 1 seed in the AFC and completely locking up Shawn and Phil in the road to the bowl. Despite that Austin handled this game all throughout, showing why he’s a nine-time champ and Ocho remains ringless in more ways than one.

27) Super Bowl 32 – Austin (Patriots) defeats CMass (Bears)

This game to me was less Cmass doing anything to throw the game away and more Austin proving that he was on his own tier of excellence at that point in the cycle (though Dan would have something to say about that the following season). Gator Great Matthew Davis was not to be denied, and the turning point of the game was when Cmass threw a horrible INT to Kyle Dugger down 10 on Austin’s goalline near the end of the 3rd quarter. With a TD there, it’s a one-possession game and you never know how things break out.

28) Super Bowl 2 – Lub (Steelers) defeats Shawn (Cowboys)

Can I pretend to have a strong memory about this game? Sure can’t. What I can tell you is that at his best Lub was incredibly frustrating to play against, an underrated defensive user who was sort of Chase before Chase, causing havoc with his LB’s and making you question yourself constantly. Shawn was able to win his ring three seasons later, but in this one he had no answer offensively for what Lub was doing.10

29) Super Bowl 22 – Dan (Jaguars) defeats Austin (Cardinals)

I can’t rate any Super Bowl too highly that ends in a disconnect, but this was a fun game with a lot of twists and turns despite the decisive final score. I’d like to direct your attention to the 2:20 mark of this highlight video where Dan gets a SUUUUUUUPER lucky break to tie the game up at 24. In other Maddens that’s a throw out of sack and possible pick-6. Instead, Austin got mossed and the Jaguars never looked back. One of the forgotten plays that changed the history of the league.

30) Super Bowl 8 – Austin (Eagles) defeats Kiing (Jaguars)

Couldn’t watch the game at the time, zero recollection of it, I just bring this up to give props to Kiing’s lockdown defense leading up to the Super Bowl. In the three playoff games before SB VIII he gave up 7 to Caiden’s Raiders, 7 to Phil’s Broncos and 14 to Morty’s Patriots. A very impressive playoff run that ran up against the GOAT’s first-ever Super Bowl birth. Tough matchup.

31) Super Bowl 9 – Phil (Broncos) defeats Beard (Giants)

Just absolute clamps by Phil’s secondary, which I still believe is the greatest pass defense ever assembled in the BL. Phil wasn’t particularly explosive in this game but he didn’t have to be, as Beard struggled mightily to get anything going until the game was effectively over. Not one of the more memorable Super Bowls we’ve had, but this game was a great example of Phil’s teambuilding skill coming through for him on the biggest stages.

32) Super Bowl 31 – Austin (Patriots) defeats Steel (Panthers)

Maaaaaaaan thank God for Saracco Moscato and Trulys. Cody and I mighta fallen asleep by halftime otherwise comming this snoozefest. Apparently watching this game back I was defending Steel and saying he was playing decently? That dessert wine must’ve had me fucked up. I’ll still remember this game most for Justin’s egregious comment that he would’ve made the Super Bowl if he played in the NFC, which might’ve been the worst take he’s ever given (and that’s a LONG list to choose from).

33) Super Bowl 23 – Cody (Giants) defeats Dan (Jaguars)

This game is most notable not for the gameplay itself, but for the fact that Cody was able to finally break through and win a ring after a long series of near-misses. Cody was a perennial contender as soon as he joined the league, but a combination of bad breaks and chokes on the big stages left him ringless until he finally threw the monkey off his back in decisive fashion against Dan. The game was a bit more competitive than the final score would indicate but make no mistake about it; Cody was the best user that day and that season.

34) Super Bowl 37 – Hero Austin (Browns) defeats Connor (Saints)

A competitive first 15 minutes gave way to a snoozefest in the 2nd half, as I self-immolated with mistake after mistake under the weight of Hero’s ultra-efficient offense and Hero ran away to what ended up being the third-widest margin of victory in BL Super Bowl history. It was a classic M22 “whoever makes the first mistake is in deep trouble” type of game, and under the stress of a multi-possession deficit and Chubb having freight train activated I panicked and started chucking the ball deep, playing into Hero’s hands. Just not a great game out of me, though Hero didn’t get stopped on offense at any point until well into garbage time.

35) Super Bowl 15 – Austin (Chargers) defeats Matty (Rams)

Fuck Matty. He doesn’t deserve a writeup.

36) Super Bowl 26 – Dan (Jaguars) defeats Ben (Bucs)

It’s hard to blame Ben for this result. After the great Ocho Scandal of M20 Ben took over and went on what was, given the situation, a pretty surprising run to the Super Bowl before ultimately losing out in a noncompetitive game to Dan’s Jacksonville dynasty. Ben woulda needed a bad performance out of Dan to stay in this one, but with the exception of one ill-advised deep shot early in the 2nd quarter Dan was locked in. Can’t expect anyone to take over a new roster and immediately win a Super Bowl with it.

37) Super Bowl 10 – Morty (Patriots) defeats Cody (49ers)

Still the most lopsided Super Bowl we’ve ever had. Cody had just gotten finished giving up 10 COMBINED points in three playoff games against Dwaters, Anthology and Austin before running into an absolute buzzsaw. I suspect the scoreline might’ve looked different if Cody hadn’t just played other playoff games right beforehand, but Morty was a machine and I’m not sure anyone would’ve beaten him in this SB. This game helped cement Morty as the greatest user of the first two cycles.

38) Super Bowl 1 – Cpot (Falcons) defeats Morty (Patriots)

It’s for the best that this game has been lost to the sands of time. Cpot was trash, this game was trash, and any time Morty loses a big game it gives me clinical depression. I can’t remember a single notable detail from this one and we’re all better off for it.

39) Super Bowl 19 – Samoan (Rams) defeats Ben (Chiefs)

The most illegitimate Better League ring there’s ever been full stop. Beat the CPU Saints in the WC. Dogwalked undefeated Jerod (who played like two games all season) in the divisional round. Held Justin’s trashass to 8 points in the NFCCG. Finally, in the Super Bowl, did whatever he wanted to Ben in a 3-possession game that was somehow less competitive than the score makes it look. The worst season in Better League history.